Saturday, October 30, 2004
wheee. okay, today was a pretty productive day.
hatred is all that exists;
complications that are first in this line
what i thought was true
but if i had to say goodbye to leave this hell
this came long before
everywhere i go
i'll cry myself to sleep
so much for my happy ending.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
whee. slept at 645 today. hehh.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
mann. im so bored. hehh.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
bleh.
Friday, October 22, 2004
blehh.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
darzie kissed me today. omg. lol. *gasps*
Monday, October 18, 2004
A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door. It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him. Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr.. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday."
Thursday, October 14, 2004
why do i feel so weird.
and yes. finally. my exams are finally over. bloody pieces of shit. lol.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
this is not andrew. (i'm too good to be andrew.. and 25 cm too short. hahah..) oh this is cool. I HAVE THE POWER. andrreeww is lazy. he's not updating his blog. so i have taken initiative to do it for him :) i know i rock. hahah.
went to queenstown library to study with zee and max.
finished 2 and a half revision exercises. =D
then had a quick bite at the cafe downstairs.
saw sarah, after not seeing her for the past.. five years? haha.
she was sposed to meet max. mhmm, yep.
still looks the same though. haha.
so sad that she cant recognise me. oh well.
went home and finished off that last revision exercise.
then went on the comp for a while.
before dad started giving me work to do.
did more than half of a specimen paper.
then after that dad wanted to teach me differentiation.
quite alright so far. but i'm sure it gets tougher. hehh.
sposed to finish off the specimen paper by today. ohwell.
think i'll go off now anyways. feeling kinda exhausted. yupps.
goonights.
this may never start
we could fall apart
and i'd be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can i be your memory
so get back, back, back to where we lasted
just like i imagined
i could never feel this way
so get back, back, back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this may never start
i'll tear us apart
can i be your enemy
losing half a year
waiting for you here
i'd be your anything
so get back, back, back to where we lasted
just like i imagined
i could never feel this way
so get back, back, back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this may never start
tearing out my heart
i'd be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings disappear
can i be your memory
so get back, back, back to where we lasted
just like i imagined
i could never feel this way
so get back, back, back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this may never start
we could fall apart
and i'd be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can i be your memory
can i be your memory
you dont know what its like to be like me
to be hurt
to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked
when youre down
to feel like youve been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
and no one's there to save you
no you dont know what its like
welcome to my life
love is a fairytale.
with all these pictures running through my mind.
knowing endless
consequences
i feel so useless in this.
is made of fiction and i'm following the same
but if i try to make sense of this mess i'm in
i'm not sure where i should begin.
i'm falling, i'm falling...
i'd say my time has served me well.
those who suffer more
i'm too awake for this to be a nightmare.
who said it was easy to put back all these pieces
who said it was so easy to put back all of these pieces.
everyone i meet
every time i try to fall in love
they all want to know why i'm so broken
why am i so cold
why i'm so hard inside.
why am i scared
what am I afraid of
i don't even know
this story's never had an end
ive been waiting
ive been searching
ive been hoping
ive been dreaming you would come back
but i know the ending of this story
youre never coming back
never.. never.. never.. never...
its my
lullaby.
etched at 10:51 PM
was all broken sleep before that, anyway.
saw the sun rising, and i dragged myself outta bed.
went to on the comp.
and then i lied lay on the couch and slept. haha.
heesh. what a night ystd.
i need to start on my hol hw soon. i cant bring myself to start.
shiet. ughh.
ah, wth. i'll go try starting on smth easy now.
like.. uh. geog? or maybe hist.
heck, i still dun feel liek touching any working materials. hehh.
oh well. think i'll go off now.
ciao.
no.. it's not cos i dunno.
cos. cos i think i'm falling for you damnit.
etched at 10:45 AM
dun feel like doing work or playing. bahh.
maybe i should juz go read my angels and demons. haha.
toodles`
and when i close my eyes
its you i see
and youre everyone i see,
so tell me, do you see me...?
etched at 12:08 PM
i wake up finding smth sharp cutting into my lip.
hoho. my tooth got chipped again. phooey.
going to the dentist's on wed morn to get it fixed.
oh well.
ystd went to queenstown library to do smth chinese hw. tgt with shawn, zee and fran.
helped fran wit her phy. and shes so easily distracted can. lol.
take 2 hours to read 5 pages. -.-"
i was slacking half the time la. wth.
need. to. discipline. myself. grr.
and oh, zee's mom came to look for her. LOL.
but man, so freaky. hahaha.
then after that her whole familee came.
then she cooked up some stoopid story.
and her mom bought it. haha.
after that, went to cut my hair.
my head feels so much lighter. lol.
went home, then went to sleep with fran. rofl..
got up at arnd 8, then went down for dinner.
and the usual la, dun need to blog liao. haha.
kk, gtg.
mom wanna use it soon.
toodles`
etched at 2:30 PM
dad's giving my maths tootion nowadays.
and i mean like, his timing sucks.he juz got back not too long ago from overseas trip. his work and stuff.
he was gone during my exam period. sucks right.
now he comes back and wants to give me tootion. cant even give me a break.
phooey.
after all that weeks and weeks of suffering from mugging, i cant even rest. hurr.
and its like, he teaches ANYTIME. like when hes free.
thats so unfair for me. so rubber timing one. he.
blahhh. what to do.
BUT. i know its all for my own good. hehh.
oh well. anyway. today kinda sucks.
had some stoopid thingy about the eng papers and ss papers.
wtvr la. went through it in the hall as level kinda thing.
boring like hell.
then keith was sleeping beside me. lol.
ohoh, then in class. i was like, listening to radio the whole time.
then when mr ang saw my headphones, he was like. O.O
hahahaha. then i juz look back at him and WAVE. haahha. im pro.
and and.
im aching liek mad since wed's trng.
i mean. my left leg aches like hell, i cant even walk properly.
my left butt cheek as well. hahaha.
and my right arm. cant even squeeze my bottle to get my watter.
bleh. so hopeless. so pain. haha.
oh well. it'll get better anyways.
going off now anyways.
toodles`
etched at 10:16 PM
hahahah.
wtf, i shouldnt be sneaking online. lol.
BYE, DAMNIT.
wahhaha.
i feel cranky.
GOONIGHTS.
etched at 11:53 PM
Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.
"Jack, did you hear me?"
"Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.
"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.
"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.
"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.
"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.
Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.
The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.
"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.
"The box is gone," he said. "What box?" Mom asked.
"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it. "Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.
Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.
"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.
Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:
"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."
"The thing he valued most...was...my time."
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.
"I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!" "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"
etched at 11:06 PM
i feel so..
empty.
etched at 9:14 PM
freedom. whoopeee.
but im so goddamn tired. havent gotten much sleep since the past three weeks.
ah well. i think gonna crash now. haha.
toodles.
and oh yeah. juz tag the tagboard to state ur preference. pink or blue. hahaha. thanks.
peace out.
etched at 10:19 AM
ok. what can i say. actually, not much. ANDREW AND THE REST OF SJI AND MOST SCHOOLS IN SINGAPORE STILL HAVE EXAMS. AND MY EXAMS ARE ALL OVER. -grins.
oh yes. andrreeww you need to change your font colour. blue is NOT NICE. and it's hard to read. change it to pink. i'm too lazy to do it so you have to do it. SOON. cos blue is annoying. and take away the eyes. cos they're wayyy freaky. but the song can stay. i like the song :) actually, the font also sucks. change that too. and you should change your "andy" scroll thing to my name. i think it'll look NICEr :) HAHAHA. i feel like ego-ing tonight. this is fun.. but i think i'll stop here.. running out of things to complain about.
me. :)
(andrew has refused to comment.)
etched at 1:19 AM